ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
