now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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