Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
