Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
