how can u be prego again
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
