it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
