I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
