Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
