Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
