He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Randomize
