is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
