summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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