she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
