i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
