Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
