They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
