he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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