i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
this just has baby written all over it
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
