I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
