help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
