If i come over, it means nothing
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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