dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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