Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
