the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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