do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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