Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
