Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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