She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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