you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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