Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
zippers are such a cool invention
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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