how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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