i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
