What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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