...so i touched it.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
