Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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