I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
