We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
