He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
