what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
