I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
