I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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