i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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