i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
