literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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