You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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