do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
