i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
