If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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