Nicole vs. Life
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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