I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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