Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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